Rushing

I've been in a hurry my whole life. When I was a youngster (that's teenager, really) I was convinced that if I didn't hurry up and "grow-up" I'd somehow miss the boat. I also wanted to do as many different things as possible. I had the usual suspects in my itinerary, travel, fame (or a monetary equivalent), freedom, and of course the all important career.

I changed my career goals as often as most folks change their underwear. My career choices ranged from: Lawyer - school took too long, Doctor - see Lawyer, Police - poor pay, Military - very poor pay (of course I did wind up in the Air Force, but that wasn't a planned career move), Archaeology - pay non-existent. The list was endless.  Then one day I had an epiphany - on the career front anyway -  I could be an actor! Rather than try to pursue all those careers, I could act like all those folks.

So, I enrolled in the High School Drama Department. I became a card carrying Thespian and I was proud to be one. Then that "being in a hurry" thing got in the way again. I started working for who ever wanted me. I made the lady who gave me my first chance vie for my time. We had, quite understandably, a huge falling out. I quit the Drama Department in a fit of rage. This had a house of cards effect. I lost the chance at my almost guaranteed scholarship to university, and my impetus. In my hurry to get where I wanted, by rushing ahead impervious to those around me, I screwed up.

I did try (several times) to get back on the "acting train" - moving to LA in the late 70's, and then nothing for almost 12 years. I did a little stage work when I moved to England, some extra work here and in Holland. I did the odd commercial, a lot of adverts for the Armed Forces Radio & Television Network in Holland. More extra work in the 90's along with some voice-over work, and then...nothing.

I was still in a hurry with everything else though. While my "career" stalled out, I was rushing to do other things. Getting married - twice, divorced - twice, fatherhood - twice, changing jobs - again more often, than most folks change their underwear, moving - like a grasshopper. My life didn't slow down until about ten years into my second marriage. Then it ground to a shuddering halt.

Now I'm single again, I've found that old habit of being in a hurry has resurfaced, albeit for a different reason now, I'm rushing to try get some old business taken care of. It is not often we get second chances in life. I've had more than my fair share of  "second chances," and this time I'm planning on getting it right.

I think I've cracked it finally. I think I've figured out how I can fulfil my natural proclivity for rushing while still taking my time. I've got a lot of catching up to do and I've started already - still in a hurry - but this time, I'm paying attention. I'm going to look at the sign posts as I speed up the last roads of my life. I'll try to avoid the detours when I can, and enjoy the scenery when I can't.

 I guess that's the only advantage of rushing, if you get sidetracked, you can still get back on your path. A little older, hopefully wiser and still able to enjoy the trip.